Is your child texting about trinitarian heresies? Know the signs.

TMP — That's modalism, Patrick COP — Come on, Patrick GITP — Get it together, Patrick TAP — That's Arianism, Patrick TABAP — That's a bad analogy, Patrick YTWP — You're the worst, Patrick YJCP — You Just Confessed Partialism IMRP — I mean really, Patrick IGSYITFP — I'm gonna stab you in the face, … Continue reading Is your child texting about trinitarian heresies? Know the signs.

‘Goat Simulator’ is newest research tool for seeker-driven church planners

Although created simply as a harmless, time-wasting video game, Goat Simulator is now the latest tool in the belt of seeker-driven church planners who are looking for the next big thing to attract new attendees. "Our typical market research is mostly successful at exploiting current trends and making a mockery of them," explained Ned Young, Jr., lead motivational … Continue reading ‘Goat Simulator’ is newest research tool for seeker-driven church planners

Fundamentalist Church Rejects Fancy Coffee

The congregation of Roy Jack Road Baptist Church in suburban Greenville had a tired and groggy Sunday morning when its newly-installed deacon wanted to provide his congregation of twenty families with something special to drink on Sunday morning instead of the usual black substance that oozes from the church’s 30-year-old aluminum tanks. “I thought the … Continue reading Fundamentalist Church Rejects Fancy Coffee

Missionary Organization Announces Bible Translation for Scandinavian-American Cuisiniers

Following success upon publishing Da Jesus Book, a translation of the Bible into the Hawaiian Pidgin dialect, Wycliffe Bible Translators is now setting out to go beyond dialect and into heavy accent, today announcing that they have translated the Bible for Scandinavian-American cuisiniers.   Lead translator Leun Vellenberg believes Zee Huly Beeble will serve this … Continue reading Missionary Organization Announces Bible Translation for Scandinavian-American Cuisiniers